Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

This author's pretty good

Oh, hey, it's my friend @beedok's story! You all should read it!

Even the name is excellent:

"The Harem Protagonist Was Turned Into A Girl!! And Doesn’t Want To Change Back!!!??"

Also, you can also buy the ebook version to support an excellent indie trans creator who makes wonderfully funny and enjoyable stories! It's heeere and here!

Also also, check all her other stuff, it's excellent!

Oh my! Thanks for the shout outs everyone!

I’m glad you like my writing. ✨

Every time I mention liking something transgender lately the author just fucking shows up

The next Final Fantasy expansion takes place on a new continent.... Wasn't the apocalypse in the last expansion a worldwide phenomenon though? I wonder what was going on over there. How did they even fight against the apocalypse whatevers without the hero being there

maybe they fell out of a dimension hole like the pandas in wow

Star Trek is so funny. All of starfleet is so aggressively Neutral Good. Every time they're up against something they Always do the noble thing. Every one of these motherfuckers is so ready to jump on the grenade. It's so cute I love them

Starfleet officers come out of the academy with 2 things: a passion for science bordering on sexual and an incomprehensible desire for self-sacrifice

I love how this is like, acknowledged in lore, too. Like, the reason Starfleet is so full of these bozos is because it's a big non-profit where you get to Do Science and Be Noble. So only people who want to Do Science and Be Noble join up. The organization has a reputation for producing the most moralistic greater-good-loving yuppies in the galaxy. It's a straight-up hero factory. You love to see it

I bet vulcan ships gossip about how starfleet officers can't go a day without volunteering for a life-threatening mission before they start climbing the walls looking for enrichment

DC x DP fic: Farm Hand

The Kents lived on their family farm for the past three generations. Ma and Pa had two perfectly able sons and a grandson who could help around the farm without trouble.

But with Clark living in the big city, caring for his job, family, and superhero, it was brutal to find time to fly home and help with the harvest. The same could be said about Jon, who struggled to keep up in school, and his training. Kon, who used to live at home, made things easier until the boy moved out with his long-time boyfriend, Tim Drake.

They could never deny him the chance of love, and Tim was a delight- despite his unwillingness to move out of Gotham. Kon had been so bestowed he was fine living in the old Drake Manor with Tim, even if he also wrinkled his nose at the crime city like a true metropolitan.

Keep reading

DPxDC Prompt

Danny is fully aware he is the Ghost King. Fortunately no one else except the ancients seem to know that fact, so he can go about his life without any added headaches from his rogues or the ghost hunters in town.

Unfortunately this becomes a problem when he is summoned by a dude in a trenchcoat who absolutely refuses to accept he is the ghost king!

Danny is starting to regret not making some sort of announcement in the realms about Pariah no longer being king, because this is the tenth time he has been summoned in which the summoner keeps demanding to see Pariah dark like a Karen demands to see a manager at Walmart.

ALRIGHT! 👏🏽 A prompt. (Or, well. A premise.) I’m schtealing a lot of worldbuilding from @mediumsizedpidegon‘s post here so bear with me please.

The Bats, however they catch wind of Amity, catch wind of Amity Park. Of course they do. Amity Park has a very distinct presence— Or, well, a lack of a presence. It may have an abundance of documented weirdness online, from folk stories to abandoned livestreams to concerning details in expats’ online blogs.

But there is no online evidence of Amity Park that leaves Amity Park.

So. What is a family of detectives to do when confronted with the need to gather physical evidence? Road Trip, baby!🏄🏽‍♂️🚗🚞🚡

Everyone hops in the car/Batplane and makes their way to Amity Park; they make hotel reservations, ring up the only reasonably rich enough people to even touch their social circle (the Manson family, and Vlad Masters, apparently), make an itinerary for all the documented tourist stops to hit up while in town off the town website, and prepare themselves for whatever dimensional weirdness is causing a complete tech blackout on the town and an inability to be found by satellite.

They get about ten feet into Amity proper when they meet the first local.

His name is Danny. He’s nice! Affable. He looks a lot like any other Wayne sibling, actually, if a little on the younger side. He notices it’s their first time in town. Do they need any help getting around?

Keep reading

 Danny and his haunt are more than a little distressed to find out that Pariah Dark can’t be destroyed and can only be sealed away due to being the Ancient of Darkness. Danny is worried about someone trying to wake him up again, while his friends are more worried about the ghost going after the newborn Ancient of Space again. 

 They scour libraries, search high and low in both the Ghost Zone and the living world for a solution before finally just asking Clockwork. 

 And well, they feel like just a bit of idiots but also elated. 

 Because if Danny can become the new embodiment of space, then what’s to stop them from giving the power of darkness to someone else that’s not Pariah Dark? 

 They make a list of requirements, ask both ghosts and living friends. There’s nothing in their world, no one quite right, but what about other worlds? The realms are supposedly infinite right? So there had to be someone out there. 

 And while it takes a long, long time, they eventually find one when a small bloodied ghost of greens, golds, and reds comes forth shyly, eyes burning with determination. He speaks of heroes and villains- far more than their own world- of a city cloaked in shadow and of a single man trying to help despite it seeming impossible. 

 Who better to become the new Dark besides the dark knight himself after all? 

Ghost King Danny in his large eldritch form, staring down at the human before him: So. You are the human that has been deemed worthy as a sacrifice~.

Wayne child who is also an extreme exophiliac: *heavy breathing* U-uh, yeah! That's me! Ready to be under-I mean! In your care! *nervous chuckles*....how sharp are your teeth?

In the middle of a Justice League meeting, Batman feels a tug on his cape. He looks down to see a little boy who could easily pass as one of his.

"Erm," the boy starts. "I frew up."

Strange things had been happening to Danny ever since he went into the big tunnel in Mommy and Daddy’s lab and got zapped.

He got really clumsy all of the sudden, things kept falling out of his hands and he kept getting his feet stuck in weird places. He also got really good at hide and seek, Tucker looked right at him and still didn’t see him. His booboos got better really fast and he’s was better at gymboree than he was before.

Danny tried telling Mommy and Daddy about what was happening but they where so happy their tunnel was working he didn’t want to bother them, they where so sad when it didn’t work, besides Jazzy said he was a big boy now and big boys took care of their own problems. This problem however was too big for even a big boy like him.

He was just on the ops center looking at the stars and wishing he could touch them. He thought about what Tucker said about the superheroes having a clubhouse in space and he wondered if he could see it if he looked hard enough. Danny stared and stared and the stars started looking closer and closer. Then he saw the clubhouse it was getting bigger too. Danny wondered if he looked hard enough if he could see his favorite hero Martian Manhunter if he looked close enough, maybe he’d even see Batman, he was Sammy’s favorite.

He didn’t see Martian Manhunter through the windows but he did see Batman. It looked like Batman and the other heroes where having group time at their circle table, they had lots of papers out, maybe it was drawing time. Danny wondered what they where drawing and looked so hard through the window it was like he went through it and was standing in the room with the heroes.

Suddenly Danny realizes he wasn’t looking so hard that he saw the clubhouse, he was actually in the clubhouse. How was he supposed to go home? how did he even get up here? Did he fly? Was Danny a superhero too and didn’t know it?

This was definitely a problem even a big boy couldn’t solve on his own, so he did what Jazzy always told him to do if he found a problem too big for even a big boy to fix, tell an adult.

He walked up to the closest hero and tugged at his cape. “Erm,” he started “I flew up”

…….

TLDR- Danny got his powers at age five and doesn’t realize he has powers until he accidentally flies to the watch tower.

I can’t stop myself

….

All the superheroes where really nice. Batman gave him a juice box and Flash got a bunch of fun snacks. The heroes where asking him all kinds of questions, he felt like it was show and tell.

….

What’s your name?

Danny

How did you get up here?

I flewed

Where did you come from?

My house

What’s your address?

I don’t have a dress, Jazzy has a few but I don’t think they will fit you

What are your parents names?

Mommy and Daddy

What do the other adults call your parents?

Crazy

Where do you go to school?

Miss Hartman’s class

Do your Mommy and Daddy know you’re here?

I don’t know

How long have you been flying?

I didn’t know I could fly till I got here

How did you get inside?

I went through the window

What does your house look like?

It’s a brown house with a spaceship on top and a big green sign

What does the sign say?

I don’t know I can’t read good yet, but it starts with an F, we learned about the letter F this week, Miss Hartman let me and Tucker talk about it cause both our names have an F in it.

What part of your name has an F in it?

Fenton

…

The heroes seemed really happy to learn that Fenton started with an F.

DC X DP: Taking The Cake - Dead Tired

This had to take the cake.

Tim had noticed a couple of odd things about his boyfriend.

One: His boyfriend had an unusual cold temperature-- Tim had originally assumed it might just be because he had poor circulation in his blood stream. But as winter creeped in and his boyfriend still didn't get cold? Not only didn't get cold, but thrived in the temperature? Tim considered just maybe his boyfriend was a meta.

Danny had never mentioned being a meta. But Tim hadn't mentioned being Red Robin either. Not to mention, this was Gotham, so Tim understood why Danny may be a tad apprehensive as to mentioning his colder temperatures.

And if Tim kept the thermostat at a lower temperature from then on any time Danny came to visit? Well, that was his business and nobody else's.

Two: His boyfriend was abnormally quiet. Danny had managed to sneak up on Tim and a few of his family members before. He had managed to sneak up on Cass. And while, on some level Tim could understand his family's apprehension, he felt telling them to promptly 'f*ck off' had also been justified. Tim knew Danny, and Danny genuinely hadn't meant to sneak up on them. 

He had seemed just as startled as them when they shot up in surprise. (And maybe he did ask Cass if Danny was genuinely surprised. His boyfriend was a little sh*t and would totally pull something like this to laugh at. It was his business and Cass's and as far as the two of them were concerned, Danny was perfectly fine.)

Three: Danny was oddly protective. He freaked out anytime there was a Rogue attack and he hadn't heard back from Tim. And while Tim was touched, he hadn't exactly appreciated the mini heart attack he received when he saw Danny out in the field looking for him in a panic.

(That was one of their first big fights. Tim didn't want Danny out in the line of fire, he could take care of himself. Even if Danny didn't know that. But Danny had been just as insistent that he needed to hear back from Tim to know that he was safe.)

They'd reach a compromise. Tim made sure to always respond to Danny's text messages asking if he was safe during a major rogue attack. (Never any phone calls. Danny would know he was lying then.) And he would put up with Danny coddling him the next time he saw him. While it was a bit frustrating, Tim was still touched by the worry.

Four: Danny had enhanced senses. At first, Tim didn't really notice. But eventually, he saw how Danny would flinch at particularly loud noises. Would avoid crowds like the plague. Would sometimes have to wear sunglasses because it was "too bright". Tim never said anything. Never called attention to any of these occurrences, just attempted to help his boyfriend through it.

Tim knew it was a possibility that Danny was just sensitive to those types of things. But considering Tim was sure that Danny was some type of meta, he was leaning more towards that theory.

Five: His boyfriend was unusually strong for someone that looks as much like a twig like him.

Once when Tim had been injured particularly badly during patrol, he had practically been put on bedrest. Not because he hadn't attempted to go out the next night, but because Danny had found out he was injured and came to take care of him while he was injured.

When Tim had attempted to sneak out that night, luckily he had yet to change into his Red Robin suit, Danny had basically manhandled him back into bed. With absolutely no effort, even with Tim struggling against him. Not that Tim had struggled much, with how frazzled his brain had been when he realized that Danny was stronger than he realized.

And if Tim invited Danny to the gym next time he worked out? Well, that didn't have any ulterior motives, no matter what Steph insisted upon.

And now for number six. This took the absolute cake. The last thing Tim had expected. And at this point? Tim wasn't so sure that Danny was actually even human. Which means he would have to completely scrap his theories on his boyfriend and start over from scratch.

Because right now, Tim and Danny were cuddled up on the couch in Danny's apartment. They were having a series marathon of the Star Trek series. It had started out perfectly fine. It had started out as normal.

A weighted blanket on top of the two, Danny cuddled up to Tim, with a bowl of popcorn in-between the two. Eventually, they shifted. The bowl of popcorn ending up on the floor with Danny on top of Tim on the couch.

Absentmindedly, Tim began running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, not really paying attention to the background noise of the TV. He was just so warm and felt safe with the added weight of Danny on top of him. The movements of his finger's being just as much as a soothing motion to Tim as it was to Danny.

And at first, Tim hadn't noticed it. Not when he was slowly drifting off to sleep. But as the sound got louder, Tim couldn't help but notice. Danny was purring. 

Tim blinked and he blinked again. Not once stopping in his ministrations as he blanked out. Danny continued purring away, leaning into Tim's touch, his eyes closed and a content smile on his face. Tim couldn't help but be reminded of an overly affectionate cat. Especially when he rubbed the space around Danny's scalp and ears, Tim was convinced the was purring louder than the sound coming from the TV at this point.

So maybe he wasn't human after all. Maybe Tim should have given more weight to Damian's alien theory.

But right now, Tim was tired, and he was sure he would remember in the morning.

In the end, Tim allowed Danny's presence to send him off into a warm and comfortable sleep.

(And if Tim proceeded to take apart his theory board and contemplate just how to ask his boyfriend about the fact that he wasn't human? Well, that was his business and nobody else's)

Dc x dp idea 98

John and JLD are up against a threat from the infinite realm. When the being goes to declare their plans to destroy the planet. The being suddenly comes to a halt.

Apparently there is a single ecto entity that has a haunt on this planet. So they can’t flat out destroy the planet, that would just be rude.

Upon an investigation. As they are definitely gonna scout out who the ecto entity is at the minimum. They find none other the Cujo.

Seeing as it’s quite common for ecto animals to claim an ecto being in the realm as their “haunt”. The JLD assume Cujo, who is asleep on Danny, claimed Danny as his.